I lot of people think that long rallies are the best part of volleyball, so the internet is full of video clips of long rallies. If you’ve ever met me, you know that I am not one of those people. Don’t get me wrong, I love great rallies. I love all great volleyball. The key point is ‘great’. Very often the quality of a rally shared on social media is determined by its length. Long is not the same as great. Indeed, long rallies without great volleyball are worse than service errors. At least service errors only bother me for a few seconds. Long rallies without great volleyball seem to last forever.
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I would like to propose a binding set of rules for defining what great rallies can be posted to social media. Obviously I will be lobbying the various platforms to have these included in their Terms of Service. But since noone ever reads those things, and I don’t want you guys to find yourself unexcpectedly banned I will give you a heads up. Here are my rules:
- Great rallies must include at least one action that provokes an involuntary audible response.
…Bonus points if that response is a swear word in any language.
- Great rallies cannot finish with an error.
…there are no exceptions to this rule.
…ok, one exception. See Rule 1, re Laughter
- Great rallies cannot include a tip.
…unless it is a point, or
…unless it is followed by a full dive, preferably with a pancake.
- Great rallies cannot include a free ball.
…unless the team giving the free ball wins the rally (taking into account all other rules).
- Great rallies cannot include a soft spike.
…unless it satisfies the Rule 3, re diving, or
…unless it is a recycle attempt that leads to a spectacular action or conclusion.
I am sure you agree that following these simple guidelines will improve our online lives immeasurably.