They say that “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. By following the same logic, when laola.tv gives me a commentator who has never seen a volleyball match, and doesn’t even know the names of the players the only intelligent thing to do is to invent a drinking game. Sadly I was unable to participate myself but for posterity here are the rules.
The commentator mispronounces a player or team name or . For example, Juantanorana, Kureć, Ignastaczek, Yesky, Yeshov, Ashichev etc. The list is shockingly long but somehow does not include Grebennikov or Podrascinin.
Optional – The first person to sing ‘Juantanorana’ to the tune of ‘Guantanamera‘ does not have to drink, and everyone else must drink twice.
Note – Participants must agree on acceptable pronunciations of difficult names. For example, ‘Dryzga’ could be an acceptable pronunciation of ‘Drzyzga’.
The commentator uses non volleyball terminology to describe a volleyball action. For example, ‘takedown’, ‘reverse set’, ‘breaker’, ‘turnover on 2 etc. I will never understand the logic that led to someone describe service reception as ‘takedown’.
The commentator does not recognise / notice a referee’s signal. For example, talks about a spike being touched while the referee is clearly signalling in.
The commentator does not recognise a referee’s signal AND therefore doesn’t understand what the video challenge has been called for and spends two minutes discussing what is not happening. For example, the referee calls in but he is talking about the challenge for a block touch.
The commentator completely fabricates a story about which he has no, or almost no, knowledge. For example, “I do not know, who is Djuric, but Tsourits is wearing his shirt.” or “Born in Bosnia with Greek parents. So he can choose his surname.” I have heard that the most difficult thing for a human being to do is to admit to not knowing something. Given that noone actually asked anything, silence would have been a viable alternative in this instance.
If there is anything I have missed, I will glad to add it. And I look forward to hearing back all the outrageous stories of playing Champions League / Laola.tv Drinking Game™